It is difficult to explain the feeling of not being able to get it up.
Thought processes speed up as your heart rate rises. The instant panic, the dread and the crippling embarrassment. You want out. Quick – say something. Anything that says that you aren’t broken …
“Weird… this has never happened before”
Wait… have I just blamed her? Aaaaargh! I hope she wants to see me again. No, I hope she doesn’t. Imagine if it happened twice, that would make it a thing.
One day in 2018 my cousin Xander and I were on a long car journey and decided to chat about something we had never spoken about before. To anyone. The struggles we had been having with our erections. Never before has the saying, a problem shared is a problem halved, been so true. Instantly what had been an isolating fear could be laughed about. Our shared panics, like believing that as young men we were going to live lives of sexless bachelorhood were ridiculous.
The causes behind our problems were very different, which was great news as it meant we knew we didn’t come from a family plagued with poor erection genes. We are from a family of 18 cousins after all.
Although different, our experiences shared the feeling of not knowing where to turn and what to do about it. The resources available to healthy young men were inadequate, biased and often blatantly trying to sell you something rather than fix the problem. But we thought perhaps that market is under-catered because we were the unfortunate few healthy young men who had problems…
In 1999, the American Medical Association published research reporting that 5% of men between the age of 18 – 59 experienced ED. Eleven years later in 2010, the University of Sao Paulo published a study showing that rates of ED in men between the age of 18 – 40 was now at 35%.
Even with a pool of younger participants, rates of erection issues had exploded!
What’s changed in men’s lives to explain this? Rise in obesity? Mobile phone use? Something in the water? Nothing that could warrant this kind of an upturn had changed in men’s physiology. We drew our assumption, that is widely accepted amongst experts in the field, young men are largely suffering from psychologically induced erectile issues.
At the time, our home town of London was awash with advertising for discreet Viagra delivery services. Companies marketing themselves to young men and testifying that erection problems are common and taking Viagra is not only normal but the answer. We thought that erection medication was for porn stars and old men! Both need a medical boost to get over the physical problems of needing to have unnatural amounts of sex and to defeat ageing equipment. But why would young men take a biochemical solution to what is a psychological problem… because we weren’t being offered an alternative.
We do not want Mojo Men just to be an expert led online rehabilitation tool for erection issues. It should be a community where men feel safe sharing their experiences. After all telling someone was perhaps the most powerful part of our experience.
Erection issues need to be taken more seriously and we need to talk about them because unattended they can become a mental health concern. Men can feel isolated, unable to understand or share their concerns.
Want to be part of Mojo Men? Please contact us. We would love to hear from you.